Sep 112005
 

...It had rained all week in Salem — an inces­sant driz­zle that looked like it would let-up in a few min­utes, but had gone on for days. It was still rain­ing when we took a bus that week­end to town to catch the new Illa­yaraja movie.

As we started walk­ing towards the the­ater, we noticed a crowd of very wet peo­ple walk­ing towards us. The rela­tion­ship between the wet­ness of their clothes and the mag­ni­tude of the rain was puz­zling (I thought it was expo­nen­tial, Manoj thought it was strange), more so when you con­sider that the wet­ness was unevenly dis­trib­uted across the length of their bod­ies. We walked over to some­one, and politely enquired, “Umm.. how come you wet your pants?”

The guy didn’t get the joke — he told us earnestly that a storm sewer had bro­ken, and that there was knee-deep water on the roads lead­ing to where we were going.

With­out hes­i­ta­tion, we took our shoes off, folded up our jeans and started walk­ing. (towards, of course). In a cou­ple of min­utes, we were wad­ing through murky water (“It doesn’t look like a storm water sewer, man”), that got higher and higher. Peo­ple kept squeal­ing, as unknown objects whose spe­cific grav­ity was just right floated below the sur­face of the water and kept strik­ing them at incon­ve­nient places.

By the time we reached the the­ater, shoes in one hand, wal­let in the other, our shirts were wet, and it was not from the rain. Around the same time, real­iza­tion dawned on us: the guy that didn’t get the joke meant ass when he said knee.

I headed straight to the bath­room, which was filled with a few hun­dred peo­ple in var­i­ous states of undress, pour­ing water over them­selves from a com­mu­nal bucket. It was quite enter­tain­ing, and I would have stayed there for some more time if not for the clang­ing of the bell that announced the start of the movie.

The movie was hor­ri­ble; and the audi­ence filled with squirm­ing wet bod­ies (heh!) hated it. It was the same old overweight-hero-rescues-a-callgirl-who-is-still-a-virgin plot with a twist: the girl was over­weight too. I thanked the storm sewer guys for the dis­trac­tion of won­der­ing if the water would do bad things to me as I squirmed — it saved me from los­ing my mind com­pletely. In case you want to know, the movie was called Kolan­gal. All said and done, Kolan­gal was the worst movie I’ve watched in my life.

Last week, I had been to a movie called Oru Naal Oru Kanavu (A Dream A Day). In hind­sight, the par­al­lels were obvi­ous — rainy day, directed by an acclaimed movie maker from Ker­ala, music by Illa­yaraja. After the movie, I couldn’t help telling myself, ” You know what, Kolan­gal wasn’t all that bad.”

  2 Responses to “Déjà vu”

  1. The ele­ments sure were against you ! :)
    The 30 min­utes of ONOK i watched is with­out doubt the worst piece of crap i’ve ever seen, at least in recent times.…

  2. Oru nal oru kanavu is a bloddy dumb movie, saved only by IR and that 2 song.

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