What to do when you can’t sleep
I don’t sleep too well. Never have, and don’t expect to in the future. Since I read this [link], my insomnia’s gotten worse. I spent most of last night thinking of ways to get idiots men like Mika to see. A little after 2:15 AM, I’d gotten past the men-like-Mika-should-be-boiled-in-oil stage. I still had the rest of the night to kill, so I tried thinking of practical[1] responses to bad celebrity behavior:
- Boycott his music. That’s got to hurt, right? I am not sure how many albums this guy sells in India, but if even, say, 10-15% of his audience refused to contribute to his coffers, wouldn’t the record company get him to keep his mouth shut?
- Boycott his more successful brother’s music: As I said, am not sure if this Mika’s worth much. His brother, on the other hand, is successful. Why not refuse to buy Daler’s music? Or give it less airplay? Will that move him to do something more than say “party kissing is not Indian culture”? [Link]
- Do a Morgan Spurlock on Mika: No - am not talking about giving him 30 days of nothing but McDonald’s food (the guy’d probably have a grand time gorging down Aloo Tikki burgers!) - but make him live for 30 days in Rakhee Sawant’s shoes and her clothes and her life. That might make him find out what it’s like to be treated like a slab of meat.
- Make him wear a turban. If Rakhee, being a Bharathiya nari, is supposed to wear a saree - why can’t the man wear a turban[2]? Yes, even I realize this is a ridiculous form of punishment. In my defense, I was in grave danger of slipping back to the men-like-Mika-should-be-boiled-in-oil stage, so I forced myself back to the path of non-violence, which somehow lead me to the “turban as a punishment” scheme.
- Boycott him. Who’s inviting this guy to anything? Why? Let the other “celebs” give the man a chance to stay home and mull over the consequences of his actions for, say, the next year or so. If making a child sit facing the corner for an hour or so works wonders, why not apply it to adults too? An hour or a week might not help, but a year of no partying is sure to hurt a celebrity. That’ll teach him to feel sorry instead of bragging about his lousy behavior.
- Ignore him. This guy’s a chronic Page-3 ward patient. Let him go to all the parties he wants. Just don’t cover his existence in the media. If he does something actually news-worthy, like say, release a new album - cover that, but only write about his music. Don’t say a word about Mika the person. Or is this too harsh a punishment? If he ceases to exist on the gossip columns, will he in effect, cease to exist?
As much as I wish to silence men like Mika, it bugs the heck out of me to admit that he has every right to demonstrate to the world that he’s an ass. Just as much right as Ms. Sawant has to wear whatever she wants to. And as much as I hate papers like HT and TOI for giving any importance to this sort of thing, they too have a right to print whatever crap they want. So what is the solution? Arrrrghhhh! There goes tonight’s sleep. If you’re up late - call me. Perhaps we can jointly brainstorm about how to have a totally free society where everyone also “behaves”…
[1] So, some solutions that appear to be all wrapped up in practicality at 3:40 in the AM lose this quality 6-12 hours later. Big deal.
[2] Why turban? It was the first item of clothing that popped to my head after I spent 5 or so minutes simultaneously sputtering and racking my brains for a suitable male equivalent to the saree [3].
[3] Why are the most common mythological characters associated with the saree of the Sati-Savithri type? Did the Menaka-Surpanakha types wear Fashion by Paris Hilton?
Comments (3 comments)
i m sorry to say,your post is as ridiculous as the whole incident itself. Its ok to rant about something that spurs you, but a person with your ability to write shouldnt stoop down to such unimaginative levels. Visting your blog after a long gap, appalled to see the degradation.
the_soliloquist / July 31st, 2006, 4:16 am / #
Contrary to the previous comment, I think your post made for a fun read!
And take it from a fellow insomniac, losing sleep over Mika is sooo not worth it!LOL!
Perspective Inc / August 1st, 2006, 2:41 am / #
Soliloquist: Ouch! But thanks for the relatively high opinion you (used to) hold me in
The incident is completely ridiculous, which only makes it even more annoying. Am afraid my only response to anything this annoying is a rant…
Perspective: Thank you
And yeah - losing sleep over anything, least of all Mika, isn’t worth it.
DoZ / August 1st, 2006, 11:16 am / #
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